Does TIME truly heal all wounds???

There is one quote that I do not personally believe in...and I repeat "PERSONALLY" believe in:

"Time heals all wounds"

Well in my opinion it doesn't heal all wounds, but instead time is what it is...TIME. In any case, heartbreak, loss of loved one, or even an actual wound, time does not heal it, YOU DO!! It doesn't matter how much time has actually passed, but instead what you have done with it. As someone who has grieved a lot in this past year, anytime someone would bombard me with such enlightenment of how TIME WILL HEAL MY WOUND...I always asked myself "how much time are they thinking of". I would love to not hold this burden on my heart forever, just because I'm still waiting on time to heal it. And if time is so reliable, why can't we apply it to our lives in general...for example; I'm currently looking for a job by May, so should I take the time approach and wait for the job to appear or should I take the initiative and put in the effort to find the job? 

You're right I should definitely choose the latter, since the economy will never allow me to choose the first one! But all I'm saying is that I don't want anyone to feel as if they can not help themselves when going through an extremely tough period. Time does heal wounds, but its what you do with your time. An open, untreated wound will not heal over TIME!

In my personal journey, I do not believe time alone is enough to make your grief disappear. When you are grieving you are not passively going through life, you are emotionally active. You are suffering through different stages every week of your life and with this you should actively work through these stages, emotionally, physically, and mentally. So please, don't be fooled that time is always on your side, because it will always be something out of your control! But what you do with your time...is totally up to you!!

Less Talking, More Walking...

My beautiful Queens...I have one deep question, why do we talk so much and think so long and hard about relationships and men??

I know expressing ourselves and having open and honest communication is key in a relationship, but we are missing the woods from the trees...men are doers, not listeners...and we do not have to overthink every single scenario or outcome in our mind 24/7!!  It never works out how you intend it to...you intend to tell him everyday how disappointed you are in him that he has made you look like a fool for the umptink time and then you realize that the very next chance he gets he embarrasses you again...you are dealing with a man who is about as useful as the skidmark in his underwear!!  

You want so bad to "understand him" and "him understand you" and "figure out the relationship" and the entire time you are losing hair and brain cells....if a man doesn't call when he says he is, or stands you up when he is about to meet your parents, or clearly sleeps thru your birthday...then don't press the angry button and make sure you use every appropriate adjective to describe him..instead press the delete button and keep it moving...he has shown you through his ACTIONS that he does not empathize with you at all.

A relationship on the path of bliss and merriment is filled with you and him living in the relationship 24/7, instead of discussing it...or you discussing it, while he plays Madden on Playstation or arranges tools in his shed from biggest to smallest.  Stop wasting time...a repeated action, whether good or bad, is a habit and its engraved into his mind to be that way...you are waiting for the right word to trigger a change...and ladies the CATALYST is GOOD-BYE!!

Telling him that you love him all day, everyday is not going to make him a) love you back or b) treat you with respect after so many disrespectful attempts!!  Relationships are fluid and men are concrete...he either is or he isn't...so he isn't good, well please by all means get better!! And women..if you don't have to suffer through losing your voice and mind, than thank your lucky stars and men, if you are doing right by your woman, than you probably have no idea what I'm talking about!!  Any thoughts please do share...xoxo

A Lil Somethin, Somethin.....

Hello World...

This morning has been news worthy to say the least..

• A radio station in Cleveland, WAKS "Kiss" FM 96.5, have pulled all Chris Brown songs from their probably, slim playlist..this is madness, MADNESS!! The station's director felt that because the people of Cleveland have spoken and have already took the leap of disappointment off of the Chris Brown bandwagon it was only fair that they did as well...these are "allegations" people, what if it turned out that a flying monkey actually attacked Ri-Ri and Breezy ran for his life...that my friends are what make "allegations" great, you can fill in the blanks however you want!!
• Men, you may have to sit down for this one.....Halle Berry has reported to Essence Magazine that she will be cutting off ALL OF HER hair (yes, bald on her head) for the 2010 romantic comedy, Nappily Ever After...I know this is not a joke!! We are serious, both about the drastic makeover and the name of the movie....
• In sports news...Brett Favre has retired, again!! Thank You God...now can we please ban him from the NFL and then we can all rest easy during the off-season!!
• The world of college basketball will get a little bit more exciting tonight...as the Carolina Tar Heels play against the Fluke Blue Devils..let's all make sure we are wearing our Carolina Blue and cheering for the appropriate team!!

Now, I'm returning to work, because I'm thankful to have a job...we are in a recession people!! And if you are bored at work or in class or at home, here is something to ponder...

How does the guy who drives the snow plough get to work in the morning? xoxo

These are HER confessions.

So Tameka has made headlines again. But this time, she's not pregnant (THANK GOODNESS cuz I think she's up to 6 or 16 now). No it seems that the stylist turned gold digger turned wife of Usher suffered serious complications from a "routine" surgery in Brazil. Hmmm. Why would this mother of 2 kids under 2 sail away while to Brazil her man is on tour to have a somethin that's "routine" was it really that serious, tameka??? and NO, getting a Brazilian bikini wax is NOT serious. And if its sooo routine--as they like to call it--why couldn't it have been done in the USA?? You know, close to her kids and arguably the best docs in the world....read btwn the lines people: she was getting plastic surgery.

I don't even want to begin speculating what she could have possibly wanted done. To be blunt, it's not exactly what I'd call a short list... come on guys, I KNOW you've seen her pictures. And if you're observant like I am, you know there's a lot of things that could be improved by letting the doctors chop away at her skin....but I digress.

and what's sooo laughable about this situation is that I think Tameka thought she could get away with the surgery. HAHA. had there been no complications, did she really think we'd believe it when she suddenly appeared next to Usher as a size 4 supermodel with looks that could kill??? (ok, you're right...she already has looks that kill, but still). WE KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE TAMEKA!! you're not fooling us!!

The real issue here is that it seems that celebrities (or people that married celebrities and demand the same level of clout like a certain wife of a certain artist who "makes you wanna"...) Just aren't happy with themselves anymore. Really? Because I would LOVE to wake up one day and realize that the biggest problem I have is not paying of $986,385,864.78 in college loans but rather that I have a blemish on my left arm that doesn't tan with the rest of my body. Please, Hollywood, get it together.

Let us all learn from Ms. Kanye West's late mother. There are things more important than looks...like your life!!!! So let's all look in the mirror and be happy with what you see.

This has been an inspirational moment by Yours Truly. xoxo

Countdown to V-Day...single is key!!

Now that Valentine's Day, or "the day that has been blown completely out of proportion Day" is approaching I think that it is only fair that we let all single ladies and gents...it is great to be SINGLE!! Let's not fear that and let's not wallow in self pity, because that money you will spend on an ungrateful man or woman can instead be spent on yourself...and who appreciates a gift more than yourself...nobody else, it's true your dad really does not enjoy a tie every year!! Revel in the fact that you get to have all the room in the world to breathe...without somebody taking up all the necessary oxygen!! And if the day is really going to bog you down, here are some tips:

1. Smile, its only one day...because 364 days will probably be pure hell for that happy couple (just saying, it may)

2. Enjoy a good horror film, Friday the 13th hits theaters this weekend and whats more exciting than not having sex, is seeing other people die while having sex...really ruins the mood huh

3. Eat, eat, and eat...food is comforting...lets just not make it comfort food on February 15th..then you're pushing it.

4. Find another single friend...we all have at least one..they may not be who you prefer to hang out with, but they are single, they understand!!

5. If your ex is nearby, you can always find a way to ruin his or her day...I mean he/she wasn't romantic with you, so how in the hell can he/she be romantic with her/him.

6. For those in school, give the gift that keeps on giving...read a book, which relates to a course, that you may have been doing crappy in, with hopes that you will now pass...just as easy as 1-2-3!!

7. Plan an Anti-Valentine's Day party...or find a party dedicated to all the lovers and go solo...you love yourself, right?

8. Watch great reality tv, like "For the Love of Ray J" or old episodes of "Flavor of Love or I Love New York"...if they can find it in such a ridiculous way...who is to say today isn't your lucky day :)

And last but not least...is just be happy that you are the beautiful, awesome person that you are and just because you are single physically...you have people who love you!! xoxo

To Steroids or Not to Steroids?? Is that a question in baseball...

As I wake up from a beautiful slumber, I realized that today is the day, after yesterday, which means all talk on television, in the newspaper, on your favorite sports updating websites, and even at the water cooler at work will focus on the fact that A-Rod admitted to taking steroids from 2001 to 2003 while playing for the Texas Rangers...I know you never would have guessed it. For all those who may live under a non sports related rock or Tivo Lifetime movies, Alex Rodriguez plays Major League Baseball for the NY Yankees...no, he's not famous for flying around the world with Madonna, while being married..same thing I thought!! But back to reality, the main thing I'm kinda tired of hearing about is the fact that this little bit of information now has everyone spewing the "steroids have tarnished, ruined, blah blah blah..the game of baseball". I, myself, don't find the game of baseball dead, but instead a little bit more interesting for those who stopped paying attention to it, long before Mark McGwire ruined your lunches by being so big and strong and on steroids...OH MY!!! Everyone knows baseball is no longer America's favorite pasttime and that professional football has definitely taken the cake...I mean football is a sport that gains a new fan each season, while baseball will always have the same people watching it year after year...no matter how many Boston Red Sox players become sponsored by a chemist lab (...but wouldn't that be interesting news!!). Now, I do not condone cheating and steroids is a big NO NO..but let's be honest..were we not happy to see the excitement with the return of homeruns into the sport, which actually has a homerun derby!! Steroids is unethical, but these guys saw their sport fading and the MLB front offices did too...they more or less handed the steroids out like candy!! Sport is entertainment and like most entertainers, i.e. Heath Ledger, they take their role to deliver too far...

Lets Keep Thy Hands to Thyself!!!

We have all heard of the tragic news of Chris Brown and his "alleged" wife beating!! Now this is very hard to believe for most women, because our favorite lil dancer has always projected a cute smile and innocent demeanor.  But the victim is what has me questioning this incident...Rihanna!! America's beloved Pop Star Princess....now is it me or does she seem alot more capable of putting their hands on somebody than Chris Breezy????  I mean she does have that "disturbia" look down pack and she does always have that angry look in her pictures, while doing something that I think makes me smile just thinking about it, and that's shopping...so who is really the victim here people???  Another thing we must take in account is the fact that they are human and they are in a relationship together and this is the media who is telling us this...our very own "Big Brother"...could this be a complete misunderstanding of black love or has our Pop Prince truly jacked up the Pop Princess??? And why in the hell do we have to lose our favorite Doublemint commercial over this...the world will never know!!

What's Love Got To Do With It??? Nothing in an assclowns eyes.....

Ladies, you all know them, dated them, obsessed over them, and found strength to get rid of them. They are emotionally unavailable men, or better known as "assclowns" through my new fave website, www.baggagereclaim.co.uk. Call them what you like, just don't pick up the phone and call them. Beware these "creatures" are overly self-confident, attractive, funny, independent "acting", and pursued you like a cat to a mouse. You realized that you had so much in common with this person, that God must have heard your prayers, wrote them down, and spent all your blessings on creating this man just for you. Ladies, don't believe the hype or the pure doo doo this man has reeking from his mouth. He has laid it on so thick, you may never see the light of day again. Let's count how many promises he made in the beginning of the relationship and now let's count how many he actually held up to. If the first number is extremely higher than the last number, than let's not place him on his pedestal yet, we would hate for him to fall on you. He was emotionally unavailable when you started dating him and he will stay emotionally unavailable until he makes himself available, which occurs after some life altering experience, so if you don't mind waiting for that lightning bolt I suggest you move the hell out of the way. An emotionally unavailable man is disconnected so far out of the relationship emotionally, he may not even recognize when you are crying or smiling. He is there physically, but all of the important crap that help builds a relationship and nurtures it into love is out of the window.  And yes ladies, great sex does not equal love.  It equals exactly what it says after the sum; SEX.  These men have pure control over a relationship, especially if you have exhibited low self esteem or a too laid back personality.  They need you there and nowhere else, because an emotionally unavailable man has an enormous ego which needs stroking every God forbidden chance he wakes up in the morning.  They are keen at knowing when distance needs to be set in motion.  You become too smart, too aware of his flaws, too nosey, too unsure of his potential as the perfect specimen that he thinks he is, than he will become distant and beg for you to become his pursuer, because ladies, you're right, he's just that damn important.  Oh look at all the energy you are pouring into the relationship, because you are the sweet, caring mothering type that allows him to give 20%,  and you make up for his lack of 80% he left in his mother's womb, so now you are pulling your hair out giving 180% into a train wreck of a relationship.  And then you realize that you haven't spoken to your family since last Christmas, your bank account is sinking like the Titantic, and you have only one friend left and she is living a functional life, so you get nauseated every time you hear her breath over the phone.  He loves being the center of your attention, he lives off of your resources, he cheats, he can't and won't commit and he doesn't care that you have an emotional, financial, or personal investment in the relationship, because when he gets ready to leave, he will.  No closure and probably not a good-bye, because he will try to torment you forever or at least until you become the Wonder Woman that you are and tell him to kick rocks and hope it hits him back.  Stay tuned ladies and don't worry men, I know women aren't God's gift to a lovely household (but we are close enough lol).....

Tribute to Will Smith

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In West Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys they were up in no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the
License plate said "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought nah forget it, yo home to Bel-Air

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabbie yo, home, smell you later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air

-----

so yeah, tell me why I've CLEARLY seen every episode EVER of Fresh Prince, yet I will deliberately set my alarm to get up by 9am to watch it like it's new?? For those of you who are obviously confused, Fresh Prince comes on every morning at 9am on TBS. Get with it, please.

I think that Will Smith is just waiting for me to finish grad school so we can begin our lives together...I know this because when I saw him for the first time, it was def. love at first sight....and I know he felt the same, haha.

xoxo